Open letter to cool brands who have hired celebrities and athletes to endorsement contracts:

Hire me.

Yes I know.  That’s a pretty bold statement.  You can go ahead and bing google me. You’ll find nothing of consequence. 

I haven’t won any athletic awards since before my mom bought me a Millennium Survival Kit.  I have yet to be featured on any celebrity magazines or websites.  Trust me.  Perez Hilton does not know who I am. 

The only red carpet I have ever been on was when my cousin got married this past summer.  And I almost tripped over that one.  I have never taken steroids or pleaded the 5th.  People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” has never heard of me.  If I ever applied to BeautifulPeople.com I would not be accepted. 

You see, I’m just a regular guy.  I have a wife and kid and live in a house in a quiet neighbourhood in the city. 

I don’t consider myself average.  I’m just not a celebrity.  People don’t take pictures of me.  Check Flickr if you don’t believe me.

Here’s what I CAN offer you:  I’m real and authentic.  That’s my brand.  I represent the kind of person you want using your product. 

If you’re a clothing company I can assure you I wear clothes.  And being in Toronto (and this being winter) I wear lots of them.  I need various kinds of shoes to tackle various kinds of weather.  Sunglasses?  Ditto.  Food? I love to eat.  Cars?  I got my drivers licence.  I’m a consumer.  And I’m not loyal to brands (unless I get paid).

But not only that, I’m active.  I’m all over this fair city of ours.  (By the way, I will travel for money – Hello, Flight Centre!)  You can find me at trade shows, meetups, social gatherings, at baseball and football games, and at various drinking and eating establishments.  I’m an avid blogger and tweeter and my sister says I spend too much time on Facebook.

And if you ask anybody about me here’s the answer you’ll get:  He’s nice.  Now isn’t that the type of person you would want wearing your fine cologne or expensive watch?  I think so.

And here’s my guarantee to you should you decide to hire me:  I don’t have far to fall.  Unlike Tiger, Phelps, McGuire, Clemons, Letterman and various other “stars” my fall (which you are concerned about) will not be damaging.  To you.  Because there won’t be one.  In fact, there will be no fall into the TMZ world.

Here’s why:

1. I have an implied code of conduct.  – Unlike Kobe, I live on a budget.  There is no way in hell that I would jeopardize free swag just for a little late night shenanigans.
2. Although all press is not good press, you won’t have to worry about neither.  I won’t generate any press.  I’ll melt into the crowd at the local grocery store as I buy your tasty cereal.
3. I’m very good at saying sorry.  So if I forget to put the snow tires you send me on my car and something unforeseen happens, I’ll say sorry.  And you won’t have to worry about a lawsuit.
4. And if I screw up really bad (meaning the media and those damn bloggers find out I’m being paid by you) I’ll just lay low for a while.  I’ll stop tweeting, facebooking, and hobnobbing with Toronto’s social media elite.

So what do you think?  Don’t you wish your high-paid celebrity endorsers followed those same 4 steps?

You see, these are the things that the average mom and dad teach their children:

1. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
2. Don’t do anything to embarass your mother.
3. Learn to say sorry.
4. And if you make a mistake, it’s better to shut your mouth than to dig yourself into a bigger hole.

And it’s something that I promise I will do for you.

Now if you deem it inappropriate to hire a brand like Karim Kanji, I understand.  I mean, there is a chance I’ll be BIG someday. I mean REALLY BIG. 

So my advice to you would then be to hire that next person who fills your coffee cup tomorrow morning. 

They know a thing or two about being human. 

Hire them.

Regards,

Karim Kanji
karim_kanji at hotmail dot com

I know what you’re thinking (thanks Magnum PI!)…

“Here’s another New Year’s Eve prognostication.” Or maybe you’re saying to yourself, “Not another Resolutions post!”

Wait.  If you’ve read this far then you’re hoping, feeling or thinking, “Maybe this will be different.”  And it is. 

When a new year, or in this case a new decade, arises it is very easy to reflect upon the past and focus and plan for the future.  You want to lose weight; make more money; have a better relationship with your family and friends.  Is there anything else?  If so enter it here–> _______.  Get the point?

We all want to begin. Again.

But why?  And how?

Let’s tackle the why first.  As humans, we all have an innate desire to improve – constantly.  And that’s cool.  Who am I to argue?  I want to improve.  And I’m sure you do too.  But why?  Is it something you want to have?  A brand new car or that condo downtown?  Or maybe it’s something you want to be able to do.  Like start your own business or take one month to travel to Spain.

Here’s my question to you:  How long has this been your goal?  My guess is that it’s been in your mind or on your fridge for years.  And if that’s true then the question is not “What do I want to achieve?”  The question to ask is, “HOW do I get my goals?”

Move forward.

So let’s say you want to move to Africa.  That’s your goal.  Move forward.  What do you need to start doing to actually get there.  Do you need a job when you get there?  How about accommodation?  I’d imagine you might need to get some sort of shot. 

Personally, I have no idea about going to Africa.  But the same can be said of anything.  A goal you’re reaching towards is something none of us has ever achieved.  Besides asking ourselves what we need to prepare for, the next best step is to ask someone who has achieved what we want.  So, let’s say I wanted to go to Africa.  I’d ask a few of my cousins and uncles who have actually gone to Africa.  Simple.  They’ve gone and they are willing to help me get there. 

Want to start a business?  Ask someone who has done so.  Want to write and have your book published?  Ask a published author.  Want to learn how to play tennis?  Hire a tennis coach.  I know.  It sounds simple.  It is.

Let’s begin.  What do you want?  Find someone to help you get there.

Happy New Year!

Hey folks!  (I need to come up with a better greeting than “Hey folks!” – What are your suggestions? )

So, here’s my first attempt at video-blogging.  Should I just hide behind my typed words?  Is my face made for “radio”? I’m not the most techie guy (even though I’ve been known to write for a tech website) so excuse the amazing lighting, interesting background music and no make-up.

Other than that, enjoy.

Tina Turner once said that we don’t need another hero.  John Lennon sang about the working class hero.  Def Leppard even wanted to be your hero. Heck, even Meat Loaf thought this was a time for heroes. 

My brother once had an illustration in his bedroom that said “Have Heroes”.

However, time and time again our heroes disappoint us. 

Today, society “creates” heroes through the power of media.  Whether it be television, radio, or the various social media tools on the interwebs we have created heroes to look up to.

We had heroes on the baseball field.  We looked up to A-Rob and Sammy Sosa and Roger Clemons.  Then we tore them down for taking performance enhancing drugs and “cheating”.

We had heroes on television.  Then we threw them on the curb when we found they were cheating on their spouse.

We even had heroes on the radio.  But when he said something off colour we branded him a racist.

The latest hero.  He used to be a Tiger – the most powerful brand in the world and maybe the most recognized face globally.  Now, we can’t wait to forget about him.

Why do we do this?  Why do we build up heroes and then destroy them when they reveal themselves to be less than perfect? 

The easy response would be to suggest that we shouldn’t create these heroes.  We should look up to our teachers, fire-fighters and people we actually know.  We should have our dad, mom or brother or sister as our heroes.  I’m not disagreeing.  But to suggest that we never emotionally invest ourselves into a personality may not be realistic.

I’m a BIG fan of Neil Young.  If, for example, I were to find out that he was involved in anything shady.  Yes.  Initially.  But over the long term, I’m not so sure.  I’ll give you an example.

Chris Benoit.  you remember him?  One of the greatest in-ring professional wrestlers of all time.  He also killed his son, wife and committed suicide a few years ago.  I had a Chris Benoit DVD.  some of the greatest performances you’ll ever see.  It took me a few years before I could watch it again.  But I did.

Why?  Because I wasn’t “in love” with the person.  I enjoyed the “performance”.

You might like the service you get from a waitress or waiter at a restaurant.  Are you interested in what they do outside of work?  No.  You care about what they are giving to you at that moment.  You are thankful for their outstanding service.  And you tip them.

Why is it different when that same person is now performing in the “public”?  Is it because we choose to fall in love?  We can change the channel or leave the stadium whenever we want to.  But we choose to stay. 

And cheer.  Or jeer.